20.
Family Life in Napier
Depend on yourself
By endeavour and self mastery,
Let the wise man
Make of himself an island,
That no flood can overwhelm.
Buddha
When we moved to Napier from Waipukurau In
September 1961 we lived first at Taradale, which was then
a separate borough with Its own borough council headed by
Arthur Miller, the Mayor. New housing subdivisions were
springing up everywhere as Napier's population swelled
from the surrounding rural areas. The newcomers moved to
the south of Napier Into the borough of Taradale and some
very fertile farmland was engulfed by urban sprawl. That
land was lost for primary production, a long-time
backbone of the New Zealand economy. This dramatic growth
In Napier necessitated much work to provide all the
essential facilities for urban development.
Wim thus had many challenges to meet in the field of
Local Body engineering. His skills were needed In the
province for the new housing subdivisions, to develop
essential services such as roading, water treatment and
supply, sewage disposal schemes and the treatment of
effluent, including the design of oxidation ponds. When
we came to Taradale, open drains adjacent to public roads
were common, there were few footpaths and many people had
private artesian water supplies.
Wim joined the staff of the consulting engineers of
Powell, Fenwick and Partners In September 1961.
initially, we rented a flat in Greenmeadows opposite the
Methodist church at the rear of which was a private
kindergarten conducted by Mrs. Johnson. Stephen and
Annemarle attended this kindergarten, while Zosia started
at the St. Joseph's Primary School in Guppy Road, now
known as Relgnier School. Our flat was adjacent to the
small Greenmeadows shopping area, which then comprised
the Hammond's grocery store, a dairy, a greengrocer and
the local post office. The Taradale shops, plunket rooms
and doctor's surgeries were within walking distance.
Proximity to all these essential services was an
Important consideration, especially as I had no car.
Meanwhile, we carried on building our house at 2 Bowling
Road. Wim did much of the construction work and the
overall planning for subcontractors required on this
project. André, came up from Waipukurau to help Wim. Our
building site was nearby, which made everything easier.
The architect designed, L-shaped house was constructed of
concrete blocks. It had four bedrooms, an open-plan
kitchen-dining-living room area, a separate bathroom, a
shower room and a laundry. From the living room, sliding
glass doors led onto a terrace landscaped around a wooded
area of native trees and shrubs, which we endeavoured to
preserve. These trees had been planted by Mr. and Mrs.
Rees, who had subdivided their land and sold us our
building section. We were delighted to have a large horse
chestnut tree, pongas, a karaka, a kahlkatea, nikau palms
and a lovely flowering magnolia tree. We constructed our
house around this exciting wooded area and enjoyed
watching the native birds nesting In the trees and
listening to their calls. Diagonally opposite our house,
in Osler Road was St. Joseph's Maori Girls' College. When
we moved to our new home we were often entertained by the
sight of their marching teams trained by Mr. Lynch. The
rhythmical sounds of the beating drums frequently
announced the Maori students' regular practices, which
became a fascination to our children.
Our neighbours were friendly, especially Ruth and Max
Campbell who Introduced us to many local people, some of
whom remain our close friends to this day. We became
actively involved In the local community. I joined the
Catholic's Women's Guild and served on the parents'
committee of Reignier School for a term, while Wim became
the chairman of the local scouts and guides club. Our
older children were associated with the scout movement at
Greenmeadows, where they learned new skills and formed
further friendships. Likewise, we gained many
acquaintances through that organlsatlon, the Catholic
church, the primary school where I was occasionally
engaged as a relieving teacher, and through Wim's
business associates. We soon became very integrated into
the local community.
Alek and his fiancée Anne married in 1962. Mother
attended their wedding in Gore in the South Island.
Sadly, Anne's parents refused to be present at their
church marriage, because of Anne's father's deep-seated
prejudice against foreign-born people. He took a long
time to accept Alek as their son-in-law, thus causing
needless anguish to their eldest daughter and Indirectly
to Alek. Anne's brother, sister, neighbours and family
friends were, however, present at their wedding and they
offered their support and friendship. Anne's father
finally accepted Alek after their daughter Teresa was
born, a year later. We welcomed the newly-weds into our
home during their North Island honeymoon.
During this period my mother continued nursing in
Waipukurau Hospital. André astonished us by applying for
training as a teacher at the Ardmore Teachers' Training
College. He became a very good teacher and later trained
as a speech therapist. This led ultimately to his
position as the Deputy Principal of Homai College in
Auckland and subsequently to the post of the Chief Speech
Therapist in Matamata, before his emigration to
Australia. where he is now a Pastor.
I was now keen to resume my Interrupted university
studies, so at the beginning of 1963 I enrolled as an
extramural student of Victoria University of Wellington,
where I had gained 11 papers towards a Bachelor of Arts
degree 10 years earlier. I endeavoured, with some
difficulty, to complete three Education papers of stage
three level that year. My studying was often frustrated
by the lack of the necessary books for my assignments. I
obtained these through the National Library, since
Victoria University did not offer a library service to
extramural students as did Massey University in
Palmerston North. Furthermore, I had no control over the
sequence in which the requested books arrived. This
complicated any sustained study of a given topic. My
assignments were all completed eventually as the required
books arrived throughout the year from the National
Library.
Around this time my wartime experiences of my childhood
caught up with me. Several distressing memories
Increasingly preoccupied me and I finally sought
professional help over a period of a few months.
Fortunately, I was able to work through my experiences
and soon I became my usual happy self again. In the
winter of 1963 Wim's parents visited us from The
Netherlands. Wim had not seen his parents for 12 years
and I had never met my parents-In-law and consequently,
we were both overjoyed at the thought of having them with
us for four months. Before coming to New Zealand they
traveled by ship to Australia to be with their married
daughter Thea, her Dutch husband Rob Donker and three
young children, all born in Australia. After spending two
months with them, Wim's parents sailed to Wellington to
see their two sons and our family In New Zealand. This
was their first voyage outside Holland and In preparation
for their overseas trip they had tried to learn English.
However, this proved to be a difficult task at their age
and they had made little progress. Wim's parents feared
that we would have difficulty communicating. Fortunately,
Wim was able to take a week's annual leave to begin with
and being anxious to catch up with the family news of the
past 12 years, he and his parents talked in Dutch
continuously and with great enthusiasm. Moreover, since
Wim's immigration to New Zealand he had few opportunities
to speak Dutch and English was our common language. Wim
endeavoured to translate parts of the conversation with
his parents for our children and for me, occasionally
becoming confused by responding in Dutch to us and in
English to his parents. Meanwhile, during that first week
I tried to absorb some Dutch to facilitate communication
with our guests. One day Wim handed a parcel to me and
spoke in Dutch. I replied In Polish before either of us
realised that we had reverted to our native tongues.
Fortunately, we saw the humour of our situation and
laughed about It. Soon after that Wim returned to work
while I remained at home to face the language problem.
Within a fortnight, however, I was able to communicate in
Dutch with my parents-in-law, as each day our
understanding Increased. By the end of their four month
visit we were able to speak quite freely, discussing
several topics in Dutch. A real empathy developed between
Wim's parents and their four grandchildren and myself. My
in-laws were very caring, warm-hearted people with a
strong sense of family, which had drawn them to travel
halfway around the world to be with us in New Zealand.
Before they left us we recorded a tape for the family In
The Netherlands. Many years later we were delighted to
receive It back, to hear again our children's voices as
they recited poems In English, sang English songs and
Dutch nursery rhymes without comprehending the words they
tried to imitate from the records which their
grandparents had brought for them. Opa and Oma
(Grandfather and Grandmother) thoroughly enjoyed
listening to our children's entertainment after evening
meals when they recited poems and sang for them. We were
very sad when their time with us ended, having
appreciated their company and valued our brief close
relationship. Wim's parents liked New Zealand, but they
missed their Dutch family and friends. Wim's mother was
amazed to see the wide open spaces here, after their
densely populated homeland. Subsequently, we reflected on
some of their responses. She once exclaimed in utter
disbelief on viewing rural New Zealand, 'Look at all this
land and no houses! What a waste!' Their New Zealand
visit gave us all much to reflect upon.
Although I completed my extramural university course in
1963, my illness prevented me from sitting the final
examinations. Therefore, I revised the course during
1964, successfully passing those three units in October
of that year. In 1964, I also commenced teaching at St.
Joseph's Maori Girls' College nearby, five mornings a
week, while our youngest son John attended the local
private kindergarten. I taught junior English, and social
studies, and fifth form geography and biology. The school
had been established In 1867 and was run by the Sisters
of Our Lady of the Missions, a religious order, which
originated in France. It was then a private Roman
Catholic college. It was the oldest New Zealand boarding
school for Maori girls. When I started teaching there In
1964, only four lay teachers were employed. Miss
Josephine Cassidy taught speech and elocution, Mr. Harold
Howard was responsible for senior biology tuition, while
Mrs. Ruth Flashoff, the former Principal of Hukarere High
School taught senior English. All the other teachers were
nuns. This was my first opportunity to be involved with
the education of Maori students and their parents and to
learn something of their culture. My understanding of
Maoritanga deepened during the succeeding years of my
career at this school and through the study of the Maori
language by correspondence. I was very fortunate to have
had that chance to closely relate to Te Tangata Whenua o
Aotearoa through my work as a teacher. I learned much
from my pupils, for whom I still have great affection.
In 1964 Wim became a partner in the consulting
engineering firm of Powell, Fenwick and Partners. Our
children were achieving well at school and thoroughly
enjoyed sports, Including rugby and swimming. We spent
many wonderful summer hours at Westshore Beach.
Occasionally, we traveled to Waipatiki and Waimarama
beaches as well. In those days we never locked our house,
even while on holiday in other parts of the country. No
one ever entered our home. The milkman, the baker and the
greengrocer called. They left our orders in the letterbox
and change from the money we left. Nothing ever went
missing.
I continued teaching at St. Joseph's Maori Girls'
College, and took on further extramural studies through
Massey University of Palmerston North. I completed a
further three English papers in 1965, two history units
in 1966 and the final three history papers in 1967, which
gave me the long-pursued degree of Bachelor of Arts.
In 1967 we traveled as a family to Australia, where my
husband attended a three-month course In traffic
engineering at the University of New South Wales In
Sydney. Thus, with our four children we sampled life on
the other side of the Tasman Sea. As Australia converted
to decimal coinage ahead of New Zealand, our children
benefited from being Introduced to the new system during
their school attendance in Sydney. We were Impressed with
the cosmopolitan nature of Australian society. Immigrants
were referred to as 'New Australians'. People were used
to hearing foreign languages in their midst and no one
seemed surprised or upset by this, which was not the case
in New Zealand. There was a great variety of continental
food available everywhere, while New Zealanders were only
just beginning to approve of these innovations and to
develop a taste for exotic imports and culinary skills
from foreign lands.
While in Australia we visited Wim's sister's family in
Melbourne and met Wim's youngest brother Guus who was
also living there. That was a great family reunion. We
were also interested in the flora and fauna of the
Australian continent. Our children were fascinated by
emus with their massive bodies, strong legs and tiny
heads perched on top of extremely long necks. The
wallabies and kangaroos were another attraction, but the
koala bears were undoubtedly their favourite Australian
species. Our visits to the museums and art galleries
enabled us to learn more about Australia and its
Aborigines. I was delighted to see our chief bridesmaid,
Elizabeth, who had married an Australian of Polish
extraction In Sydney. It was great to renew our
friendship during those three months. It was, in fact,
our last opportunity to be together as Elizabeth Pilat
(née Zaleska) died suddenly, two years later.
We returned to New Zealand in September 1967, and in
October St. Joseph's Maori Girls' College celebrated Its
centenary. We joined in the special celebrations as I
resumed teaching during the third school term. We were
particularly Impressed by the concert party performance,
the hangi served In a large marquee, the beautiful
singing during the commemorative Mass and the magnificent
display of the college marching girls' team, so ably
trained by Mr. Lynch. The ball with numerous speeches,
followed by action songs and the cutting of the
centennial cake by Dame Whina Cooper, the school's oldest
surviving past pupil, was a memorable event, and the
celebrations culminated In the unveiling and the blessing
of the statue of the school patron St. Joseph with infant
Jesus, portrayed as a Maori. We felt enriched by our
renewed contact with Maori people, which these
celebrations facilitated.
Our youngest son John was now at the Greenmeadows Primary
School, while our eldest daughter Zosia commenced at
Colenso High School in 1968. Stephen and Annemarie
attended the new Taradale Intermediate School.
Intermediate schools were just being Introduced in urban
areas. In that same year New Zealand changed over to
decimal currency, and man set foot on the moon's surface.
We watched that event on television at our neighbours',
In utter amazement. In May 1968 we traveled with our
children to Wellington for my graduation from Victoria
University. Our family then included Peter, a fifth form
student whom we fostered from the Child Welfare
Department. He shared our home and was part of our family
environment for that year. I continued teaching at St.
Joseph's Maori Girls' College in 1968, though after my
graduation I was offered teaching positions at Napier
Girls' High School and at Colenso High School. This was a
time of trained teacher shortages at secondary schools in
New Zealand. I joined the Federation of University Women,
and received the advanced qualification of the Diploma of
Teaching that same year. It was a busy year Indeed as I
also tutored two private pupils and on the 1st November
gave birth to our third daughter, Helen, our fifth child.
We were very happy with our new baby. I must have been
one of the proudest mothers in Napier as I nursed Helen.
My room at the McHardy Maternity Home had a panoramic
view of the Marine Parade and Hawke's Bay beyond, with
Cape Kidnappers visible in the distance. My bedside
corner of our three-bed room resembled a florist shop, as
flowers and cards with good wishes and messages of
congratulations poured in from our friends and
acquaintances.
After Helen's birth I resolved to cease teaching to
concentrate on the additional family responsibilities.
Peter departed to other foster parents. He seemed more
stable and happier after nine months with us. He passed
the School Certificate Examination and decided to
undertake further technical studies. Meanwhile, the acute
shortage of trained secondary teachers in New Zealand
continued, and in February 1969, when Helen was barely
three months old, I was approached by the Principal of
St. Joseph's Maori Girls' College, in her desperation to
secure trained staff for the school. It was a difficult
decision, but I agreed to teach for two hours, five days
a week. I took Helen with me to school in the pram in
warm weather. During the winter my class came to me
across the road. I taught in that way for the remainder
of the year. I was due to give birth to our sixth child
two months later.
During that same year Wim became increasingly keen to
purchase a farm at Eskdale, about 11 miles north of
Napier. Neither of us knew anything about fanning. I had
never lived on a farm and Wim had stayed only briefly on
a farm in Holland during the war where he was captured by
the Gestapo. However, our son Stephen had become very
interested in Suffolk sheep. He had saved his pocket
money and the additional money he earned by cutting lawns
for elderly neighbours at Greenmeadows, and with this he
bought a stud ram and three stud ewes. These became the
nucleus of his registered stud of Suffolk sheep in later
years. With our son interested in agriculture and Wim's
enthusiasm for a change, we finally decided to sell our
home in Greenmeadows to pay a deposit on the Glenora'
farm of 150 acres at Eskdale. This included an old
homestead with a hay barn, old sheds and a tennis court.
Meanwhile, to earn more capital for the purchase of the
farm, Wim built two flats at Pirimai in Napier. He sold
one of them and temporarily retained the other for us to
move Into after the sale of our Greenmeadows home.
Being eight months pregnant. I was not looking forward to
our shift. Furthermore, we lived in a spacious
four-bedroomed house with a well laid-out garden. The
children had their play hut, a sandpit, a swing and a
portable swimming pool on our Greenmeadews property. They
had their friends and schools In the neighbourhood. The
garden there would have been ideal for our 13-month-old
Helen, who had just started walking. The tiny, unfenced
Pirimai section meant that she had to be largely confined
indoors. With five children and another expected shortly,
we somehow managed to fit into a two-bedroomed flat, with
only the garage to store our belongings in. Our three
girls occupied the smaller bedroom, while the boys slept
in the back part of the garage, with the deepfreeze and
all our baggage piled up to the ceiling in the remaining
three quarters of the garage. As we could not occupy our
new farm in Eskdale until April 1970, we made the best of
this crowded accommodation for about five months.
Just before Christmas 1969 I received the sudden, sad
news of my friend Elizabeth Pilat's death in Sydney. This
was a tragedy. She left behind a husband and three sons,
the youngest of whom was only 17 months old.
December and January were very hot months so I was really
glad when our fourth daughter, Lucy, our sixth child,
made her appearance into this world on the 26th January
1970. My husband was always very supportive during
labour, but did not wish to be present at our children's
births. His presence would have been possible with our
last two daughters' deliveries, as that practice had then
became widely accepted and encouraged. We were just as
proud of Lucy as we had been of our five older children.
Somehow, we managed to find a corner in our bedroom in
Pirimai for Lucy's bassinet. A few weeks later I obtained
my driver's license. With the second car we had recently
bought, I was now mobile and able to shop independently
for the weekly household requirements. I purchased a twin
pushchair to get about in Napier with our two baby
daughters, born only 14 months apart. Now we could look
forward to our move to Eskdale and the challenges of
rural life.
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